i realise i'm blogging nonstop. haha. i think its cos during the play, i blocked off everything. blocked off my thoughts, hopes, feelings, dreams and everything. and now that its over, everything's gushing out. like a dam that has burst.

when i'm feeling down these few days. i console myself by thinking of a better tomorrow, a tomorrow that i believe will come. but at the same time, i'm not blinding myself to the present. i'm living in the present, with the past as memories and the future as hope. its getting there.

london to me represents a place of freedom, no limitations. the reason i came here was to experience a whole new world, escape from the controlling environment in spore (in all aspects) and to push my boundaries. i think i've done that the past 5/6 months i've been here, and i don't think i've ever been happier. haha. i'm having the time of my life. and its wonderful. the funny thing is though, that even though i'm pushing my boundaries, and experimenting with all that freedom, i don't think i've lost control ever. i haven't done anything drastic (even the play is something ppl would expect from me). i haven't gone crazy havoc apeshit (unlike some annoying girls. ahem). i haven't put on weight (at least e scale says so). i haven't lost alot of weight either (yes i'm eating screw). hahaha. and its been really good. i feel like a student here, a teenager or youth that's experimenting with all that life has to offer, good and bad. and living (:

while in singapore. its a place of cages, words and lines. you can't escape the rules, limits and boundaries. be it in my home, the number of ppl you know, how ppl talk and all that shit. i could never do the things i do here back home. not that i care much about what ppl say about me. but its just so unnecessary and irritating. but at the same time, its back home where i have the most liberty to be an adult. haha. i'm not bound by that 'student' tag there. i can drive, go wherever i want, and back in spore i don't have a school. if in spore, its just purely to relax have fun. haha. i'm talking shit. i know everything like the back of my hand, unfamilarity doesn't affect me. but i suppose that comes with living there for years, and with time, it'll be the same in london. ah wells.

off to thorpe park i go tmr!